Take Steps to Safeguard Your Child 

By Jennifer Goodrich
Coordinator, Archdiocesan Office of Safe Environment

In November 2002, the bishops approved the Charter for the Protection of Children and Young People. Since then, our Archdiocese has implemented a comprehensive Safe Environment plan as required by the charter. Although we see the changes on a daily basis, some people still say, “Isn’t it sad that we have to educate adults and especially children about a topic as horrible as child sexual abuse?”

There is only one response to such a statement: “NO, the sadness lies in the fact that we did not begin a long time ago.”

Ignorance is the roadblock to change. Just as we teach children at an early age about the safety rules for crossing the street, we need to teach them the safety rules for avoiding people that might harm them. There is no difference; the dangers in both of these situations can permanently harm a child for life and protecting them can keep them safe.  

It is our desire to aid you in this effort by providing helpful and up-to- date information on a regular basis.  Any comments, concerns or ideas about improving the Safe Environ-ment program can be directed to the Safe Environment coordinator, Jennifer Goodrich, 721-5651 Ext. 150.  Please know that the Office of Safe Environment is here to assist you should you have any questions or need assistance.  

The Seven Steps to Know:

Step 1:  Learn the Facts

It is estimated that one in four girls and one in six boys will be molested before the age of 18. It is estimated that one in five children are solicited for sexual contact via the Internet.

Realities, not trust, should influence your decisions regarding your child. In more than 90 percent of sexual abuse cases, the child and the child’s family know and trust the abuser.

More than 80 percent of sexual abuse cases occur in one-adult/one-child situations

Step 2:  Minimize Opportunity

Understand that abusers often become friendly with potential victims and their families for the sole purpose of earning trust and gaining time alone with a child.

Think carefully about the safety of any one-adult/one-child situations and about the safety of situations in which older youth have access to younger children.

Choose group situations when possible that have multiple adults present that can supervise.

Monitor Internet use.

Drop in unexpectedly when the child is alone with any adult, even trusted family members.

Talk with your child when he or she returns from activities and visits.  Notice the child’s mood and whether the child can tell you with confidence how the time was spent.

Be sure outings are observable and adequately supervised, if not by you, then by others.

Find a way to tell the adults who care for children that you and the child are educated about child sexual abuse. Be direct.

Step 3: Talk About It

Understand why children are afraid to tell. The abuser often shames the child, saying they let it happen; they confuse the child or threaten the child or a family member. Many are ashamed or are too young to understand what has occurred.

Know how children communicate.  Children who disclose sexual abuse often tell a trusted adult other than a parent.  They may tell “parts” of what happened or pretend it happened to someone else to gauge adult reaction.  Children will often “shut down” and refuse to tell more if you respond emotionally or negatively.

Talk openly with your child in an age-appropriate manner. Teach your children about their bodies and about abuse and which parts of their bodies others should not touch. Be sure to mention an abuser might be an adult friend, family member or older youth.  Teach them not to give out their e-mail addresses, home addresses or phone numbers while using the Internet.  Start early and talk often.  

Step 4:  Stay Alert

Learn the signs of abuse.  

Physical signs of sexual abuse are not common; however, any unusual rashes, infections, bleeding, etc., should be carefully investigated. Physical problems such as anxiety, chronic stomach pain or headaches also warrant a closer look.

Emotional and behavioral signs of abuse are more common. They can run from “too perfect” to withdrawal and depression, to unexplained anger and rebellion.

Sexual behavior or language that is not age appropriate.

Understand that these symptoms can also stem from other issues in the child’s life, but should be investigated.

Be aware that in some children there are no signs whatsoever.

Step 5:  Make a Plan

Stay calm, don’t overreact.  Offer support.  

Child sexual abuse is a crime and so is not reporting it.  In Oklahoma you must report and can do so anonymously by calling the statewide DHS child abuse hot line at 1-800-522-3511.

Step 6:  Act on Suspicions

By acting on suspicions of child sexual abuse, you will save not only one child but perhaps countless others.  Many who sexually abuse children have multiple victims.

You may be faced with a situation where you suspect abuse but don’t have any proof. Suspicions are scary, but trust your instincts. The law requires us to report suspected child abuse, and we are not to investigate before reporting.

Step 7:  Get Involved

A child’s safety is an adult’s job.  Get involved with the Safe Environment program at your Parish and or  School.

We must all remember:  where abuse is suspected or disclosed the one thing we must not do is nothing.