Sonia Estrada:
Murrah Bombing Survivor

After 10 Years She Can Now Tell Her Story

By Eileen Dugan
The Sooner Catholic

Amazingly, no one at Saint Joseph’s Old Cathedral was killed April 19, 1995. The church is located right across the street from the Murrah Building. Its rectory, offices, and several out buildings were destroyed by the bombing. The church itself miraculously remained. Its Tabernacle candle was not extinguished by the explosion; it burned right through and after the blast. The roof and interior plaster did sustain massive damage, and all the stained-glass windows were blown out. No one died, but one person was severely injured, secretary Sonia Estrada. This is the first interview Sonia has granted.

“After the bombing, I was in physical therapy for six months. My right ear was affected. I had two major surgeries on my right knee, and they went in three more times to clean it out. When I started back to work, my daughter Zelina [she was four at the time of the bombing] didn’t want me to go back. She knew this was where I got hurt.

“Last year was the first time my daughter went to the Memorial. She went with her school, Sacred Heart. Last week was the first time I went. Zelina was with my sister and me. It was hard. I cried. I hadn’t cried since the Fifth Anniversary. I made it across the street but couldn’t go any farther. I really would like to see my name on the wall. Then, I think, ‘I could have been one of those chairs.’ It hurts to see those chairs.

“This year, I promised my father that I will go to the Memorial Mass Archbishop Beltran will say at Saint Joseph’s and to the 10th Anniversary Ceremony at First Church at 5th and Robinson on April 19th.

“I never think of McVeigh; I don’t. I cry inside, but I don’t show it. It makes me sad to think of all the people who are gone. But I’m not angry. I pray for the families of those who passed away. I see the parents that lost their kids; it all comes back, and I’m still here. Maybe God will let me be around for 10 more years. But all those people are gone.

“You see all these people coming to the Memorial every day. The day I went, I saw five guys from the Air force. They all knelt down and were praying. I want to thank them and all the readers of the Sooner Catholic for all their prayers for the victims and survivors, and we continue to ask for their prayers, particularly for the families of those who died.

April 19, 1995

“Every day when I come to work, I do the same thing. I walk in. I open the blinds and go to my desk and put my purse in the drawer. Then, I go to the kitchen to make coffee.

“That day, I went to the kitchen to make coffee first, and, then, I went to the office. Instead of opening the blinds, I bent down to open the drawer to put my purse in, facing away from the window. That’s when the bomb went off. I felt something hit my back. Glass! It felt like hail. Then, I remember getting hit with a piece of wood from the second floor. I passed out. I woke up across the room by the door with the desk on top of my leg.

“I’m usually a “scaredy cat”, but I wasn’t that day. ‘Lord, what is happening?’ I screamed. I was not scared. But I did not know if my kids were ok. My son Alex was eight. He was at Sacred Heart School. My daughter was with her Auntie. When I tried to get up, my knee was pinned under my desk.

“Cars were on fire! I thought it might be a gas line. I couldn’t get up. I was in shock. I screamed, and no one came. I was by myself. I thought of Father Louis Lamb in the rectory. [Father Lamb had left the rectory to go to the bank.] I thought of the housekeeper. She might be in trouble in the parking lot. [The housekeeper had not yet arrived.]

“Then, outside the window, I thought I saw my kids.  I had to get to them to help them. Leg or no leg, I had to get out that window. I remember praying, ‘God, my kids need me; help me!’

“Somehow, I crawled to the window. I was screaming, and a gentleman came and helped me outside. If I had tried to get out the door, I wouldn’t have made it out because the door was jammed.    

Then, came word there was a second bomb. All the rescuers were told to leave the area. “I asked the man not to leave me, and he didn’t. He didn’t leave me alone. I always wonder, if I had been him if I would have left. I hope not. He kept me calm. Later, he visited me in the hospital.

“When Father Mike Chapman at Sacred Heart School heard of the bombing, he told Alex, ‘Your mother is pretty strong. I think she will be all right.’ So, Alex wasn’t afraid because Father said I would be all right. Now, he’s 18, and he realizes I could have died. He always says, “Mom, I’m just glad you’re here.”

“Right after the bombing, I started writing; then I stopped. My writing was angry and sad. ‘This is not what I want people to remember me by, I thought. Then, five years ago, I started writing again, just thoughts that came into my head. For the past five years, I’ve been writing prayer letters to God. Someday, maybe I’ll show them to someone. Right now, they’re just for God and me.

“The bombing changed me. I used to be very impatient. Now, I see other people getting impatient, but I have a lot more patience. I can listen to people all day. I know I cannot help everybody, but I can listen. And I know that sometimes that’s all they need.

“I feel more at peace. I can talk about the bombing, now. At first, I couldn’t. Things that would make me angry [before] don’t make me angry any more. I’m glad I did change. I’m a better person. It used to frustrate me if I couldn’t help everyone who came to the door of the church. ‘What’s the use of going to the door if you can’t help them,’ I’d think. Now, I think, ‘It could be Jesus, there.’ So, I help if I can. If not, I, at least, listen. That’s what we’re here for.

“Some people ask, “Aren’t you afraid to open the door? Who might be there?” The answer is, “No, I’m not afraid.” I can’t imagine being anywhere else. This is where I need to be. I can’t see my life not having this.

“It used to upset me how everything can go on when I’m hurting so much. There is so much evil, but there is my family, my faith, and my church. I don’t think I could get along without them. I need this work.

 “If I didn’t have faith, I wouldn’t know where to turn. I feel someone is always there to listen. I can always talk to Father [Natsuhara] and Sister [Joan Marie Sanchez].

“We must keep going, and we do the best we can everyday. I wouldn’t change Oklahoma. I wouldn’t change anything. Everyone thought I would move back to Texas, but this is my home. I’ve been working for this church for 16 years.

“Three years ago, my 30-year-old cousin was dying of cancer. I went to see him in the hospital. He told me he was not afraid to die, but what bothered him was thinking about his family crying for him. Sometimes, I close my eyes and wonder how my death is going to affect my parents, my children, my husband.

“But I’m still here.

“Working at the church has helped me. I’ve seen so many funerals. I see the people’s faith. There’s something there that sees you through your grief. I know what I’m feeling and doing, but I can’t explain it. I feel something beautiful inside.”