Open to Grace

Monsignor Mueggenborg Reflects on Moments In His Life When God Called to Him, Often Through the Lives of Those Around Him

By Rev. Msgr. Daniel Mueggenborg
The Diocese of Tulsa

I am a native Oklahoman. My family has been a part of the Oklahoma Catholic community since 1905 when my immigrant grandfather finally fulfilled his dream of traveling from Germany to establish a new life in America. I was baptized in the same font of Holy Trinity Church, in Okarche, as was my father and all six of my siblings.

It was in the Okarche church that I first experienced a special call to the Lord. Interestingly, it occurred when I was in 1st grade at Holy Trinity School. I vividly remember having to wait for my ride home after school and choosing to spend that free time alone in the sacred space of the church. I felt profoundly drawn by the Lord to that place and remember experiencing a consolation that I have never forgotten. The Catholic Church continued to play an important role throughout my childhood. I continued my grade school education at St. Francis Xavier School after moving to Stillwater in 1969. It was at St. Francis that I learned to serve Mass and become a conscious participant in the Mass. The same sense of consolation I had experienced at Holy Trinity continued to endure at St. Francis.

My interest in becoming a priest probably stems from these moments of consolation in the context of sacred space and the Mass. It was an interest that was well received in Catholic grade school but not in public middle school. Thus, I became quiet about my interest in priesthood shortly after entering the Stillwater public school system. Still, the desire to be a priest was persistently present to me.

I credit much of my continued interest in the Catholic Church to my father, Paul, who has been a daily communicant for nearly 60 years. He and my mother were faithful parents and very involved in the life of the Church.

My attitude toward, and openness to, priesthood shifted during my high school years. Thoughts of being a priest were no longer consoling; they became disturbing. Like most high school students, I was caught up in the values of society. These secular values did not include a life of celibacy, obedience and prayer. Also, my experience of parish life had diminished and I was not sure I wanted to commit my future to a situation that was not presently rewarding.

By the time I entered Oklahoma State University for my freshman year, I was doing everything in my power to reject thoughts of priesthood. I experienced an emptiness in that year which revealed as false the hopes of happiness promised by a hedonistic culture.

I was most conscious of this emptiness at two important moments during the spring and summer of 1981.

The first important moment was in the spring when I served Mass for my aunt and uncle’s 50th wedding anniversary. The Mass was in Holy Trinity Church and as we were preparing to begin, I met a priest who made a lasting impression on me. He was a man of profound peace, love and quiet joy - the very qualities I was longing to possess in my own life. I did not know his name until after the Mass. He was Fr. Stanley Rother. Later that summer, he was martyred in Guatemala in witness of his love of God and neighbor. His example of faith continues to be a personal inspiration for me.

The second important moment was in the early summer when I attended a priesthood ordination for the first time. It was the ordination of Fr. Donald Wolf. Don and I are cousins and being at his ordination was like being at a family reunion. This moment left an impression on me because Don and I are close in age and so for the first time I was able to identify with someone who was in the process of making the commitment to priesthood.

My life began to change after that summer. I returned to O.S.U to finish my studies and I also returned to an active prayer life, frequent visits to the Blessed Sacrament, and openness to priesthood. My discernment was enriched by spending several weeks with Glenmary Home Missioners working on service projects for the poor in Appalachia. Lastly, I began visiting with the Vocation Director for the Diocese of Tulsa and decided to try seminary for one year as a way of testing whether or not I was being called to priesthood. In an interesting twist of destiny, I was about to change from studying the age of rocks (Geology) to studying the Rock of Ages (Theology)!

The rest is history. I was ordained a deacon in April of 1989 by Archbishop John R. Quinn in Rome and ordained a priest in July by then Bishop Eusebius Beltran in Holy Family Cathedral of Tulsa.

The real adventure began in that moment. There has not been a single day in 15 years that I have regretted the decision to be a priest. These have been years of both rewarding and challenging times. The rewards and challenges, in part, stem from the wide range of ministry assignments I have received: post-ordination studies, parish ministry, high school chaplain, Newman Center chaplain, diocesan office work, teaching, and responsibilities for the continuing education of clergy.

As I look back on these past 15 years, I think that the most powerful experience of ministry has been the opportunity to assist people in moments of conversion. This was especially true during my years as a high school chaplain. There is something awesome about the power of God’s grace recreating a human life. There is something humbling in being asked to participate in that work. I will never forget the many faces of that grace. The greatest challenge of these years has been learning to keep a healthy and holy balance of ministry, rest and prayer. As a young priest, I wanted to take on every ministry challenge that I possibly could. It took me about 10 years to realize that such an attitude was really self-destructive and that declining additional responsibilities can, sometimes, be a more faithful response than accepting them.

Nearly 25 percent of my seminary ordination classmates are no longer serving in active priesthood. The sad reality is that many of them bore the crushing weight of multiple responsibilities. I am deeply grateful to the friends and coworkers who helped me break free from the addictive cycle of trying to find self-worth in accomplishment. I take to heart, in a very personal way, the teaching of John Paul II when he says that the dignity of the human person is separate from what he produces.

My greatest hope for the Church is that we will become, ever more clearly, the visible sacrament of salvation for the world. I love the Catholic Church and I have given my life to her in the service of Christ. I believe that God has called me to express my love for him in this surrender of life and I freely do so - daily. Every time I break the Eucharistic bread at Mass, I remind myself that Christ was broken for us and I ask myself if I am willing to be broken for him. My experience of the past 15 years has taught me that Jesus alone is the Word of eternal life and that apart from him there is no life.

I believe that the Church will manifest the presence of Christ, the Word, as we witness his self-giving love for others. The lives of faithful priests have been the means by which I have seen that presence of Christ and the faithful living of my priestly vocation will be the vehicle by which I will express that presence to others. Christ has called us to communion, fidelity and loving service. As the Church in our time increasingly embodies this mission, it will become more and more the sacrament of salvation that God desires. As I embody this mission, I will become more and more a priest who can help the Church in that mission.