Father Chris Daigle Finds Catholic Faith Strong Enough to Handle Questions, Doubts

By Rev. Christopher P. Daigle
Somewhere along the way I got the notion that the Church was always to be believed, to be obeyed and to consider it as a big brother always watching. This entitiy was somehow related to God. It was a safe Church, a Church that all I had to do was submit and obey and everything would be all right. Church was law, direction and that to which obedience was to be shown. This Church was one that I didn’t have to think much because the thinking was already done. I found great solace in this Church that had all of the answers. People either fit into a slot and were given the answer or they did not fit into the slot and were left in limbo.

With this understanding of Church that I acquired I didn’t really understand the importance people played in the overall view. I saw law and obedience as the function of the Church; not people. Sister Marie Pierre Flemming,OSB began the process of healing my lacking understanding of the Church. Her genuine care for persons was infectious. Her love for the Church made of persons was beginning to have an affect on my law and obedience Church. Her comments about the law of love began to worm its way into my heart. Mary Laney, Jude and Sid Starr continued over the years to instill into my heart this love for persons understanding of the Church. The transformation had begun.

With this shift to a loving person Church, came the problem of what to do with the person who did not fit into the proper slot. I also came to realize that there are many persons who do not fit into the slot. Without a slot, what was I to do? Before I would have told the persons there was nothing I could do. My smugness was evident. My holier than thou attitude prevailed.

In 1997 I was diagnosed with manic/depression. I was truly a broken person. I had a mental illness. This was a grace unseen. By being broken I could see or begin to see the brokeness of others. Most everyone is broken in one way or other. The persons who didn’t have slots to fit into were simply broken in need of getting well with the Church. I still did not have my answer. My vision of the Church of laws and obedience was beginning to unravel.

Faced with this new challenge I needed to talk with someone. After praying and consideration of whom I might speak, the name of Father Bill Skeehan kept coming to the fore. I called for the appointment and went. Father Bill reminded me that the Church is people. The bricks of the Church are the flesh and blood of individual persons. He was speaking right from the Second Vatican Council. The persons without their own slots are still the fabrique of the Church. Something in hearing him speak these words made the problems of the persons without a slot easier. They too are the Church.         

It took many years to have a view of the Church which cooresponded to Vatican 2. Seeing the Church as people rather than brick and mortar took a while. The people who helped me were people who simply loved other people.  

I suppose that which gives me frustration in the Church today is the use of power. Jesus was not impressed with power even the power of the Law. He pulled off the heads of grain on the Sabbath. He healed and brought back from the dead on the Sabbath. He even referred to himself as the Son of God. With the scarcity of priests, why can we not ordain Catholic married men? Why cannot women have a greater role in the Church? Why is there such a class distinction between the priest and the lay person? The use of power in these areas would bring the Church to a new fullness in my opinion. And finally the poor. We have so many beautiful churches and even more poor. How can we honestly build very costly churches while we have so many poor? If there is going to be a power in the Church, let it be a power for the life of the poor.

There have been many persons who have been there for me along the way to ordination: my parents, Father John Scheller, my brothers John and Mike and many more. The first year of seminary was the most difficult. The transition from secular college to seminary was a struggle. I thought holy was going to Mass on Sunday. We were now going to Mass every day and praying at least twice a day. I remember calling Dad and telling him I wanted to come home. He always said, “Ok, Mom and I will come get you.”  Before the call was over I was committed to staying. I am glad I did stay, it has panned out to be a wonderful life of growth and insight. I think I know Jesus better now than ever. He is in the people, the Eucharist and in prayer.