Family Finds Support, Healing at St. Joseph Counseling Center
By Rex Hogan
For the Sooner Catholic

The trouble started when Mark’s eldest daughter was in elementary school. She was a loner. She didn’t make friends. She was constantly in trouble with teachers and administrators because she refused to obey the rules.

She and her mother were in conflict. Professionals later would say the mother was verbally abusive to her daughter.

Officials at the parochial school where Mark’s daughter attended classes finally asked him to take her from school. They also suggested she receive professional counseling.

Mark (not his real name) found a counselor for his daughter, but at $125 an hour, the expense put a financial strain on the family budget, which created more stress at home. He couldn’t afford to continue her counseling sessions.

Things got worse. His daughter was booted out of a second school. The conflict between mother and daughter escalated.

“They were like two different personalities. They almost hated each other. Her mother was constantly riding her and she was constantly bucking her mother. It got so her mother was constantly punishing her. It was a big circle,” Mark said.

Then Mark found out about St. Joseph Counseling Center, a department of Oklahoma City Catholic Charities. Among the services it offered was an outpatient counseling program. Its fees were set on a sliding scale, which means the service fees depended on the family’s income.

“The program was setup 10 years ago to serve people in the Archdiocese and the community,” said Louie Lepak, St. Joseph director.

“We serve people of all faiths, as does the rest of the Catholic Charities programs, but I would say about two-thirds of our clients have a Catholic identity. We do get people from other faith traditions, and occasionally they have no faith tradition at all,” he said.

Lepak said most of St. Joseph’s clients are experiencing trouble dealing with marriage and family problems.

“Marriage and dealing with children are the biggest issues. People are struggling with stress, sadness, anger and depression. We offer help for people with living problems, sometimes it is very serious problems,” he said.

One of the major problems, a person or family encounters when trying to seek professional counseling help - as Mark found out - is the cost.

“We set fees based on ability to pay. We see them and set a fee that’s in their income budget and that’s very powerful. Some organizations have a rigid fee schedule and if you don’t have the money you don’t get counseling,” Lepak said.

At the suggestion of St. Joseph’s counselors, Mark and his family entered family counseling. He and counselors, however, soon saw a pattern.

“Every time it was suggested to her mother that she needed to make changes, that it was a two-way street, she wanted to change counselors,” Mark said.

The mother soon left the family. That’s when life became very difficult for Mark as he started raising his three children alone.

“I started falling into a spiral. I couldn’t sleep, maybe I’d get two or three hours of sleep a night. I started drinking heavily because I couldn’t sleep,” he said.

“I was under a lot of stress. I’d feed and bathe the kids and then I started on my drinking regiment,” he said.

Mark’s daughter who had been in counseling for several years now turned the tables on her father.

“She could see things were getting worse, that I was constantly on pins and needles. She knew that I wasn’t sleeping,” Mark said.

She suggested her dad start going back to counseling. He did.

The worst of times for his family are behind them, Mark believes. He’s busy with work and raising his two younger children and his oldest daughter is preparing to enter military service.

Lepak said Mark’s story is not an unusual one.

“We have a fairly good word of mouth referral system. Someone who has been to see a counselor, talks to a family member or friend. That’s the majority of people we see,” he said.

“They have a fairly high level of confidence in us because we are a faith-based organization and they have confidence in our values, ethics and professionalism,” Lepak said.

St. Joseph Counseling Center employees 10 people, which includes full time, part time and volunteer workers. In addition to Oklahoma City, it has counseling services in Lawton, Clinton and Enid.

Lepak said last year, the counseling program saw almost 580 individuals and also provided counseling services to the individuals’ families. Bi-lingual services were provided to 114 families and St. Joseph’s helped with counseling services in 17 parochial schools in the Archdiocese.

The center also presents alcohol and substance abuse programs in local schools.

“We have a staff with a lot of years of experience in the business to offer individuals.

“We don’t have a residential or in patient treatment but we do a lot of referral service of the phone where we can help them get to the place they need to be,” he said.